I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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