What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
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