I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.