I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?