she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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