I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
