I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
40s are totally the cure
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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