Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I hate all girls vehemently.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize