Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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