Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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