According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
