season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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