You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Help. Why am I so naked?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
