So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
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Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
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Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize