if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
