So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
