I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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