theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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