i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Everything about him screamed your future.
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It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???