I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
