if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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