Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
