Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
