whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
