all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
