taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
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sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
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Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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