thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Randomize
