idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
