spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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