I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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