Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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