Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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