Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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