Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Randomize
