We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
