Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
My bed smells like the plague
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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