My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize