Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
