I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
