so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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