i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
When are your genitals available?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
