no, he came in my armpit
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Walk of Shame today included voting.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Randomize
