no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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