i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize