and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize