Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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