So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize