you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I have aggressive nipples.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
