I won't be sarcastic... just naked
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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