wat bout pragnant strippers??
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
