you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
