I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize