is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
