porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
