Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize