What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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