It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
