Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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