I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
