Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
