I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
