marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
