I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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