butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
